The Secret
by StriderX
Summary: The night of Ms. Diamond arriving to steal James away, Kendall's worry just won't let him sleep until he checks on his best friend. What he finds is a heartbreaking secret years in the making. No slash, just brotherly care. Tag to Big Time Moms.


**A/N:** So I'm smack in the middle of a heat-wave and this just stumbled out. Hopefully enjoyable at least :)

**Spoilers:** Big Time Moms

**Disclaimer:** Don't own.

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**The Secret**

Apartment 2J was unusually silent the night Ms. Diamond invaded. No music, no yelling; no thumping of teenage boys climbing a swirly-slide. Only the quiet hissing of an air pump keeping a moon-bounce afloat wafted through the home.

Upstairs, the boys hid in their rooms, determined not to wake the terror asleep in the room below. At least, that was the plan. The reality found Kendall locked in an internal battle as to whether he should even be in his room at all, forget sleeping. Looking across the dark room, he could just make out Logan's book rising and falling on his chest as he slept. He seemed to have no problem resting, so why couldn't Kendall?

Lying on his back, the appointed leader tried to reason with himself. Surly the other guys would be asleep by now, too…right? Rubbing a hand over his face, he sighed. It was no use. Worry was eating away at him like a bad song.

Of all the people in their lives, Kendall knew he was one of few (precisely one of three) who knew the true affect James's mother had on him. It wasn't that she didn't love him—in her own way—or provide for him materially, as her name would suggest. It was deeper than that. Anyone could see that the woman was simply overpowering, and Kendall knew that being away from Minnesota—from her—was a dream come true for James, in more ways than one.

So, when the infamous Ms. Diamond showed up at their door to steal James away earlier that day, Kendall watched James as everyone else gawked in shock. Even now, after James had been froze and un-froze more times than could be healthy, Kendall couldn't forget the sheer devastation in his best friend's eyes. It was almost like, at that exact moment, James realized that his whole life was just a fading dream, and he'd just awoken to a dull and grey reality.

Sighing again, Kendall smacked his forehead in frustration. He needed to check on James. Now. Using skills honed over a lifetime, Kendall pulled himself off his bed and to the door without waking his light-sleeping roommate. Slipping through the crack, he snaked through the hall to James and Carlos's room.

Their door was always open—too many banged heads when a sleepy Carlos forgot to open it. Peaking inside, Kendall couldn't help but smile. Carlos's bed was closest to the door. Somehow he'd ended up upside down in his sleep with head under the covers at the foot of the bed and feet tangled in his pillow. It was move typical for the Latino, but nonetheless amusing.

Then, Kendall heard a small sniffle over Carlos's muffled snores. Eyes shifting, he caught the James-shaped shadow hunched over the edge of the far bed, presumably staring out the room's only window. Closing his eyes for a moment, Kendall sucked in a courageous breath. By years, he was definitely the youngest, but right now, _he_ needed to be the big brother.

Without a sound, Kendall slipped across the room and whispered the other boy's name, not wanting to scare him. When James made no move to show he'd heard, Kendall sighed. It's been a long time, but he had seen this side of James before. This silent, sad part of his soul that he tried to keep locked away like a black box of unwanted photographs. The first time had been when his parents started yelling. The last had been the night James decided to try running away.

Inwardly, Kendall forced himself to swallow his anger. Fuming about James's parents wasn't going to help anyone right then.

With a cautious step, Kendall sat next to James; he was just close enough that their shoulders brushed against each other. Watching the older boy for a second, Kendall frowned. In the unguarded silence of night, James looked young, lost, and so very tired. His hair was mussed, bangs falling over eyes dull and glassy, somehow lifeless and full of emotion in the yellow light of the streetlights outside.

"Hey, buddy," Kendall tried, pushing a little smile as he playfully nudged James' shoulder with his own. "You okay?"

For a minute, Kendall wondered if James even heard. He still hadn't moved. And then, softly: "I really thought that…" as he spoke, Kendall could feel James' strength crumbling.

"Thought what, James?" he pressed, gently.

James sighed, shaking his head. He stared at his hands; he hated how weak they felt. "I thought that there was no way she could take this away from me," ashamed, his head bowed low and fingers trembled through his hair.

Kendall wished there was something he could say to make it all better. Instead, he wrapped an arm around James's back and pulled him closer. "First thing tomorrow, we'll go pick up the other moms at the airport. We'll fix this, buddy, it's not too late."

James' head shook as he unconsciously leaned into Kendall's comfort. Part of him knew his wisest friend was right, but from the depth of his despair, he simply lacked the strength to believe it. "I hate her, Kendall. I-I feel so guilty."

Kendall's heart broke as James fell into despair. He watched as a hot tear swelled over James' long lashes and spilled. James had never been much of a crier (that was more Logan and Carlos's specialty), but they all knew that he was the most sensitive at heart. "You have nothing to feel guilty for. Everybody knows your mom's a little…strange," Kendall caught James rolling his eyes at that.

Quickly, the brunette too in a deep breath and sighed, leaning his head toward the ceiling and blinking furiously. Inwardly, he figured Kendall must think he was such a baby. Seriously, who cried over their mother visiting…on Mother's Day? He chuckled a little desperately, suddenly realizing he was about to spill the one thing he swore he'd forgive and forget without a word. His voice felt small and hopeless in his throat, like just talking took all the effort in the world.

"She hit me, earlier, when I told her no."

In an instant all the air in the room tensed and stilled. James panicked; he'd hoped Kendall wouldn't get angry, but he could feel it; he felt the winding of the muscles wrapped around his back. Before realizing it, he started to backpedal. He shouldn't have said that. "I-I mean, it wasn't hard or anything…she was just angry. An-and I shouldn't have argued with her…" his voice faded even as he realized he was actually defending her.

When Kendall didn't say anything right away, James peered at the blonde for the first time. What he saw nearly made him jump. Kendall's eyes burned with such a bright, ferocious green that James couldn't bear to keep his gaze. Head falling back into his hands, he wished more than anything that he could take it back. "I'm sorry," he whimpered in a tiny voice. "…shouldn't have said that…"

Slowly, agonizingly, Kendall's head shook, and for the second time that night, he forced himself to swallow the anger that threatened to overtake him. "James," he finally tried. "did she…hit you a lot?" the words felt like poison inside Kendall's mouth. In an instant, all the memories and passing glances of a younger James came flashing back—all the unexplained bruised on his cheeks, the random appearance at his or Logan or Carlos's door in the middle of the night. He knew James could be a fantastic liar, but never could he have imagined…how could they have all been so blind for so long?

It was James' turn to tense. Every fiber of his being just wished this conversation would end. "She never meant it…" he tried, half knowing he was defending her again. "She just…doesn't know how to express herself, is all.'

Kendall's eyes softened. Suddenly everything about James made sense—so desperate to be perfect, to be like and pleasing. With a burst of terror, he wondered back to all the fights they've ever had, all the punches they've ever thrown. Could it be that somewhere deep down, James feared _him_? More than anything, he wanted to ask James why he'd never said anything, but he already knew. If that kind of 'relationship' was normal to him, why would he? Besides, no matter what he said, everyone knew how much James loved his mom—even with her faults.

"You know," Kendall started quietly, "there's somethin' my Dad always used to say."

James perked up at that, side-glancing at his friend. Kendall never talked about his dad. They'd all just assumed he _couldn't_. "No matter how things are, or what they've been, they can always get better," Kendall smirked a little sadly, squeezing James' shoulder. "We'll make this better, James. I promise."

James tried to smile, too, his spirits lifting.

"And besides! If you leave, who's gon'na wake up Carlos before he suffocates?" Kendall chuckled when the Latino suddenly wiggled back right-way-up in his sleep.

James' fake smirk finally rose to his eyes at the thought. "Thanks, Kendall. You're a good friend, you know that?"

Kendall blushed a little in his tiredness. "Hey, we're brothers, right?"

Chuckling, James ran a hand over his face, the last vestiges of sadness at last easing away. "Guess we should get some sleep."

The blonde nodded and took it as his cue to find his way back to bed. But as he stood near to the door, he turned back. "And James?"

The older boy raised his gaze with curious eyes. "Yeah?"

"Thanks for telling me."

Even in his current state, James could feel the honest love radiating through Kendall's words. His expression was nothing if not filled with brotherly pride. Choked up for words, James nodded with a grateful smile.

"'night," Kendall whispered and suddenly disappeared into the darkness of the hall. James had a feeling Kendall wouldn't just let his secret lie alone, but somehow, he was okay with that. All that was important now was that come the morning, he would stand in front of his mother with his brothers at his side and make her understand that he was _not_ leaving.

**End.**

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**A/N:** Thanks for reading!


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